3/5//2017: saya tak melibat kelibat
Tompok. Kerja yang banyak menyebabkan saya tak ke rumah semasa rehat tengahari.
Pada Petang saya lihat keadaan Tompok semakin teruk. Suami dah bawa dia ke
Klinik dan menurut doktor sukar untuk Tompok sihat kmbali kerana virus
telah menyerang Tompok hingga ke otak. Allahu..sedih lihat keadaannya. Tiada
daya lagi kami, Hanya Allah yang tahu apa yang terbaik.
4/5/2017: Keadaan Tompok semakin kritikal. Hidayah bawa Tompok Ke Klinik Haiwan yang lain pula. Tompok warded.
5/5/2017: mendapat panggilan dari klinik tersebut..Tompok telah pergi. Tompok disemadikan bawah pokok yang rendang oleh abah dan acik.
Tompok adalah kucing biasa -biasa tetapi memberi impak yang luarbiasa. Dia menyebabkan anak2 kami menjadi penyayang dan prihatin. Kami sekeluarga merasa kehilangan Temah sekeluarga iaitu Temah beserta anak2nya Chitam dan Tompok yang dilahirkan di rumah kami. Mereka selalunya akan menyambut kami di depan pintu pada bila2 masa.
Saya share Poem Anna untuk Tompok. Amat menyentuh hati:
Tompok
When the first time
I saw you,
you were so little,
almost the size of
my thumb but bigger,
your white fur and
black patches,
was just how we
started call you, Tompok.
When you grew up,
we play with
strings in my hands,
and you will
twisted your body ,
running around,
from right to left,
and it will never
be enough.
When I pat your
head, I always knew that one day,
there will be no
more times like this,
I felt bad because
I've never
appreciate your
welcome right in front of the door,
I felt bad because
when you cry,
I never would've
listen and care enough to pat you with my hands not wanting them to get dirty,
I felt bad because
I've never had known that you were hungry,
I felt bad because
I've never know that you're lonely,
I felt bad because
I've never know that you were ,
dying.
Doctor said that
you had brain virus,
and that we
shouldn't touch you,
but we did hear
her,
we just use the
last time to hold you with hands covered,
with socks, gloves
or anything that we've seen
just to feel your
body taking the last few breaths ,
before it goes away
like cold wind.
I force myself to
stop breathing,
because for how
many times I've taken oxygen ,
it's the first time
to see that there's never enough ,
for you anymore,
I felt like I took
so much of it after seeing you gasp for air,
to fill in your
lungs because your weak body
was making it was
so hard
to swallow the wind
to live.
I felt bad because
I wasn't there to put my head against your chest
to hear your last
heartbeat,
until you've been
covered with black plastic bag,
that's when I know,
there isn't going
to be any more rushing towards the front door,
any more white fur
on top of my shoes,
any more
uncluttered cat foods on the floor,
there's no more
avoiding from stepping over a
tiny body lying on the stairs,
or if there's any
more strings to play with.
I carry your body
with my bare hands,
trying to avoid my
eyes from seeing your body
half disappear,
or my brain to stop
speaking, "live, live, live",
visible bones of
yours and mouth open are too much to look at,
you look painful ,
And as hurtful as
it is,
I guess our time are too short,
so thank you ,
For the memories.
Anna.
May 6, 2017
